How Meeting Others like you Benefits your Mental Health

My disease is genetic, yet, not for me. None of my parents knew exactly what I was going through, yet they tried to understand. It was hard for them to hear me rant about my bones because they didn’t know what to do or how to help. On top of that, I was not educated on my disease, either. I couldn’t tell the difference between my bone condition, or an underlying condition, or just normal pain. It was hard for me to talk to anyone about my disability because I already had the mindset that everyone would give me the same answers: “take Motrin, elevate your leg, an icepack would help.” After getting in contact with MHE support groups, I found many people with the same problem, with the same pain. Even though I was not socially active in the community, I still saw everyone’s stories. I saw that whatever your age, 50, 60, 10, 16, there were people struggling in the same way.

Last summer, I attended an event that occurs every year, The MHERF Fantasia event. I attended with my sister, my mom, and my dad; as a family. Even though we have never gone before, this event was the most important day of my life. I met my best friend without me even knowing it yet.

I was introduced to a boy, that lives fairly close to me and attends a school near me as well. I knew that I had to be friends with this person. The whole night, I made sure to try to ask him to dance, although he said no every time. Instead, I ended up dancing with his mom. It turns out, he wasn’t much of a dancer, but I did get his Snapchat. That night I went home feeling more excited than ever.

There was one night; I was crying in pain. I decided to Snapchat him, and then facetime. I explained what was going on and although the pain was not gone, I felt relieved. I felt as if someone finally understood what I was going through. Soon enough, we went to dinner one day, got ice cream, in the winter, and just talked. Day after day, he became my “therapist”, and soon after that, my best friend.

Soon, talking about surgeries, hospitals, doctors, pain, became like an “I KNOW RIGHT” conversation.

I know the right conversations were just a bonus. He shared with me helpful information for when I’m in pain, and new things to try. I soon realized that I wasn’t alone.

Feeling alone is a vicious cycle you want to avoid at all costs when dealing with a physical and mental disability or mental state in general. Loneliness eats our self-esteem away and lets the negativity take over our brains. We don’t want that. Finding others with a connection can help you, as well as the other person, not feel so alone.

Most often you feel like you are the only person with your condition. You’re friends and family rarely have your condition, and so it is hard to talk and communicate. The realization that you find someone that does have the same problems helps you feel free. When you realize that you are in a safe and supportive and relatable environment, you stop hiding. You start being more open and out with your condition because you know you won’t be judged, disregarded, or pitied because you are on the same level.

It is empowering to see someone that is further along their journey as well because you have a role model, someone to look up too. And just as you look up to that one person, they most likely look up to you too.

When you are struggling, try joining a support group for your condition. I promise you will not feel so alone. Facebook has support groups for every condition. Even if they do not have a group for you, become an admin! You could help a lot of other people by just sharing your story. Sometimes, you will meet people and not even talk about your condition. Other times, you might check in to talk about how you are feeling, and the added challenges. It is comforting to spend time with people with similar experiences.