Disabled IS a Word We Can Use-- But What Not to Say

In a world where many terms are “derogatory,” we tend not to head towards the term right away when talking or approaching someone. Speaking openly about being disabled, or sexuality or race is not a conversation that we should avoid. We should openly talk about what is part of our life, to our family and friends, not feeling like less of. To normalize stigmatized words; we have to respect what the individual respectfully asks us to describe themselves.

I am disabled, like many, many, many others, and that is not a negative or shameful thing. I am not less than; I am me. I use this word to relate to others who are of similar experiences.

Using certain language or word choices may lead to feeling like less; We need to listen, learn, and do.

To open a marginalized world; words that are not normally used; seen as negative connotations should be used and repeated. The use of the word disability diminishes the accessibility and inclusion that we fight for and should feel confident using the word disabled.

Now, of course, you should only use this word when relevant to the situation, not using it as a joke or a saying or identifying the person. A disability is mentioned to describe a person; however, that is not all that the person is. If the person’s disability has nothing to do with the situation, leave the word completely out of the story. If it is important to note that the individual is out of school for a few weeks due to their disability, sure. If you are talking about the girl in class who presented in class; you do not call her the girl with a disability; that is irrelevant to the situation.

Differences in our world are known to make us “uncomfortable”; however, we all have normal differences, so why are the more visible ones “out of the ordinary?”

We have words to now substitute the word disabled, “special needs,” “handicapped,”; as if those words contribute less of a negative effect than the word disabled; however, no matter what, there is always a negative connotation.

You are allowed to ask disabled individual questions; in a way that does not shame or add negativity. However, asking in a personal conversation, the individual will most likely bring up their condition if they want to. A disabled individual does not want to be pointed out about their condition the first second they meet you. Try to avoid questions that are personable without mention.

Some shameful questions may be asked as:

“What’s Wrong with you?”

“What happened to you?”

“Were you born like this?”

There is nothing wrong with a person with a disability; however, If a person wants to talk about their disability openly, they will tell you, do not presume they are open to talking about it right away. Asking an individual about their disability before even mentions, reckon that that is the first thing you saw when you looked at the individual.

Comments such as:

“But you’re so pretty" Is a comment I had received from another disability advocate; sad, right. This means that my looks do not match with my disability, noting that the disabled “is not attractive"— which of course, is false, no matter if the disability is visible or not.

You are so brave and strong is a comment people get all the time just for going out to the store or going on a run; basic everyday activities. There is not really anything inspiring going on when you go forward with your day-to-day life.

Why are you not in a wheelchair? or…. Why are you in a wheelchair? is a question that should not be asked because disabilities come in all different ways—- invisible or visible. If you do not understand and broaden your perspective on the meaning of disability, we will continue to be at the outskirts of society.

Assisting without asking is one of the biggest pet peeves, as people jump on your back thinking you do not have the ability to do a task you were trained to do or are fully capable of doing; if not, help will be asked for.

As a golden rule, talk to a disabled individual just as you would with anyone else—- because we are anyone else; unique and different; just like everyone else. The rules are as basic as that.